Play Therapy, Parent Coaching or Parent Class? How to Know What Will Help Your Family
Kids & families are more stressed than ever. We know because we see and hear the stories from teachers, parents, and children themselves. We’re all working really hard and the stress is affecting us. Kids are regressing in areas they haven’t had trouble with in a while, whether it’s development or behavior. Parents regress when they’re under stress, too. Tempers are short and patience is in short supply, too. And our education system is trying so hard to stay on track, teach all these little stressed out people, and hold it together themselves. When things are feeling like too much and your fixes aren’t working the way you wish they would, it can be time to call in some help.
What services will help my family?
The good news is that there are lots of amazing professionals in the Houston area, ready and able to help. The tricky thing is figuring out what they do and how it will help. For young children, play therapy is a research-backed way for children to work through difficult times. Parent coaching can offer parents a way to figure out exactly what their goals are and how to meet them, with a professional trained in supporting children. And parent classes teach parents the same skills play therapists use, so they can add to their parenting skills toolbox AND improve their relationship with their children.
How to Tell if Play Therapy is What Your Child Needs
Play therapy can help when kids are really struggling due to a developmental issue, a tendency to be anxious/depressed/angry, a crisis or trauma, or when they’re overwhelmed by a situation they can’t handle easily. Play therapy works for young children like talk therapy works for older people. Little ones don’t find it as easy to find the words about what’s bothering them, but they can play them out. Trained play therapists know how to be there for children and how to help them make sense of what’s bothering them. Your child might need play therapy if they are not their typical selves, whatever that looks like, or if they have been through something that’s very upsetting to them (whether or not you think it SHOULD be upsetting to them). When children are having trouble navigating their everyday activities and staying mostly okay most of the time, it may be a time to consider play therapy for them.
How Can I Help if my Child is in Play Therapy?
If your child is in play therapy, it won’t mean that you won’t get some ideas about how to help, too. We know that children do best in play therapy when their caregivers do what they can to support them outside of their play sessions. When adults are in therapy, they can keep their therapists’ advice or strategies in mind and help themselves make progress outside of sessions. Children need some help, not with strategies or reminders, but more with recognizing their emotions, getting guidance about how to handle the hard times, and with some practice for when things can get tricky. Reading books about what’s hard or telling your own stories, whether true or imagined, is also a way to help children master hard things. An example is reading a book about a little person who faces nighttime fears to your own child who’s struggling with bedtime.
Don’t hesitate to ask your child’s play therapist what recommendations they have for you and what information you have to offer that can help. The only way they’ll know what’s happening outside of sessions is if you tell them. (Pro tip: find a way to communicate with your child’s therapist that doesn’t involve talking about your child in front of them. It can feel yucky to your little one.) Most play therapists have ideas for parents and are happy to share resources that can help. They know you’re all on the same team.
What if I Don’t Think My Child Needs Therapy?
We often hear from parents that they know things could be better, but they know it’s not their child’s fault. They look, instead, for ideas about how they can change to manage the tricky parts more easily. That’s where some other services like parent coaching and parent classes can come in.
What is Parent Coaching?
Parent coaching offers the same kind of support to parents that other coaches do in their fields, whether it’s business, fitness, or organization. Coaching doesn’t involve therapy or diagnoses for anyone, whether you or your child. Your parent coach will meet with you, hear your concerns, help you set goals for yourself, and then will give you ideas about how to meet those goals. Lots of parent coaches also are child therapists, so they’re really attuned to what’s developmentally appropriate for kids to be doing, and they should know the right strategies for parents to use to make things better.
For example, we know that modeling is a powerful way to teach. If a parent has the goal of getting their child to be more flexible about trying foods, a coach might suggest that the parent involve the child in selecting or preparing foods, schedule family dinners when everyone in the family is offered all the foods, and that the parent try foods they’re not too familiar with and talk about their process of accepting it. After you’ve had a chance to try the strategies suggested, you meet with your coach again to see how the strategies worked, get some ideas about how to make them even more successful, and move on to achieving your goals!
How do Parent Classes Fit In?
Many parents feel like they know enough about parenting strategies from social media, books, blogs, and YouTube videos. And they may be right. There’s more information easily accessible than ever before. But sometimes, it can be hard to know which skills are the ones to focus on, or how to apply them to their families.
A parent class can offer you a structured way to approach this topic, telling you what skills we know work in making families run better, giving you assignments and homework along with a curriculum you can refer to so you’re building your knowledge base in a systematic way, with accountability and in community. Our parent classes are small, so parents have a chance to ask lots of questions, get clarification, and so our leaders can individualize the class content so it applies to everyone.
The added benefit of a parent class is the sense of community we see all the time in our parent classes. The relief when parents realize that their child is not the only one who doesn’t want to brush their teeth at night or when they hear other parents share their worries about their kids’ behavior or development is HUGE. Our class leaders hear parents supporting each other and learning from what they see and hear happening in other families’ homes.